Re: [Xen-devel] [PATCH SECURITY-POLICY 3/9] Deployment with Security Team Permission

[George Dunlap <George.Dunlap@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

On Mon, Jan 19, 2015 at 1:38 PM, Ian Jackson
<ijackson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Lars Kurth writes ("Re: [Xen-devel] [PATCH SECURITY-POLICY 3/9] Deployment 
> with Security Team Permission"):
>> On 19 Jan 2015, at 10:20, Jan Beulich <JBeulich@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
>> > On 16.01.15 at 20:52, <ijackson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>> >> +<p>List members may, if (and only if) the Security Team grants
>> >> +permission, deploy fixed versions during the embargo.  Permission for
>>
>> Better: List members may deploy fixed versions during the embargo, if (...)
>
> The reason I didn't write it like that is that someone who reads only
> the first part of the sentence might not see the caveat.
>
> Is my wording unclear ?

I think it's just a less common grammatical construct (splitting "may
do X" into "may, if Y, do X"), and so perhaps a bit more difficult for
non-native speakers to parse?  But I think that probably in this case,
while it might take a bit more effort to read for some, the risk of
someone actually misunderstanding your wording is low; while the risk
of someone missing the caveat in the other wording is much more
dangerous.  So I'd leave it the way it is.

 -George

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